UPDATES

sorry for not blogging for such a long time

Update #1 :
                  I now have a macbook pro! July 7, 2010.

Update #2 :


                   My complexion is now darker. :|

Update #3 :

                   I am so fuckin' depressed right now and crying would probably be the only thing that can somehow help lessen the sadness, frustration, confusion, and misery I'm feeling at the moment.
                   Telling my friends what I feel won't be any help because I myself can't even analyze what is making me feel this way. I probably know deep down the reason of all this but I just can't seem to face the fact that it is the real reason of my current state of emotion. Yes, emo is the right word. And I thoroughly hate this. I try to be hyper and happy when I'm with my friends (block mates) but I sometimes space out and then I try to make jokes and try to laugh about it (because I really want to laugh), but everything seems fake. And I can't really tolerate being fake.
                   But now that I've thought about "the reason", it seems very shallow. I feel so shallow. I'm so immature. I don't know. I don't really want to be bad. I want to avoid hurting people as much as possible but sometimes I just can't help it. And I think that karma is getting its toll on me.
                   I feel like crying. :| I HONESTLY don't want  to hurt anyone. :(
                   I want to tell my friends what I think and what I feel but I don't really think they'd care. I don't really know where my thoughts are heading.
                   Also, I feel so stupid.


Update #4 :
                   Can you please tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?